Heartbreak
2023-03-25
My life is no longer full of you.All that remains are empty spaces.Holes from a family, life, and love that existed but you threw away. My heartbreak is endless, excruciating, and breathtaking.Continue Reading
First night without you
2023-03-25
This was my first night without you in years… I am in excruciating pain. Feeling so deeply wounded. So sick. I have been vomiting and having painful diarrhea for almost 24 hours. I miss you! I miss our 5 billion moments together every day and night! Continue Reading
Waking up next to you
2019-08-10
The day was emotional, long, full of heart filled conversation. Today was the closest I have ever felt to a happy and healthy family of my own and now I cannot sleep. It was a wonderful night and you are always amazing with my kids. Dinner at the table asContinue Reading
Another night alone…
2019-08-07
To start I bleached my kitchen completely. Then I bleached the dining room. Then I cleaned the floors by hand with bleach. Then got cleaned up and got in bed ALONE! Am I really so unwanted or unlovable? I refuse to drown my sad lonely feelings in random meaningless sexContinue Reading
Working every day to try and kill off the wife switch
2019-08-06
I have been a wife and mother most of my life. I have never had a time when I wasn’t raising kids or taking care of a full household like a wife. This is the first time I am really NOT a wife and it feels virtually impossible to turnContinue Reading
My self-destruct button
2019-08-05
Several years ago when I was feeling really bad about myself I met a guy who was really easy to have sex with and nothing else. No relationship, no chatting, nothing more than crazy rough semi-abusive sex and poof he would be gone. I wouldn’t need to do any ofContinue Reading
Another lonely night
2019-08-04
Why am I not single? I just don’t understand why not just be single because I spend 65% of my time alone and almost every night of the week in bed alone so why am I dating Leo? I get so lonely at night and it is really hard toContinue Reading
What to do when you are dating someone who doesn’t really parent…
2019-08-03
Last night we decided to take all of the kids to a drive-in movie at Vintage Drive-in. They were showing Lion King and Aladdin. The night was off to a bit of a rocky start as Leo’s son was not happy about eating the pulled chicken I made for everyoneContinue Reading
Last ditch effort
2019-07-31
Black and white: I think of relationships like this… If a couple loves each other -> I love you, think you love me. If a couple can agree on the fundamentals (not in order of importance): Lifestyle (Housing, cleanliness, personal hygiene, etc) Children (parenting styles, discipline, priorities, etc) Future (goalsContinue Reading
3rd day in the big apple NYC
2019-07-28
Today started out late again because we both slept in but we didn’t sleep in as late as yesterday! We were up and out by 10 am and walking around the Rockefeller Center area near our hotel. We took a few pictures and made a plan for what we wantedContinue Reading
2nd day in NYC
2019-07-27
Today we woke up late and found a beautiful day in front of us! Our hotel have an awesome feature: Walk out the door right into Rockefeller Center! We didn’t know at the time how wonderful that would start out our mornings. Around 10 am we walked out of ourContinue Reading
First day in NYC
2019-07-26
We arrived this morning around 4:30 am and decided to take a little time driving around the city and get our bearings. The city at 5 am is a very different place from any other town/city you will ever visit! Our first planned fun for our day was to goContinue Reading
Bucket List Trip to NYC
2019-07-25
Well, it has always been my dream to live in NYC but in all of my trips there I have never done any of the touristy things… I am now leaving for a NYC trip of my dreams. Leo and I are planning several things that are on my bucketContinue Reading
Tired of the avoidance and redirection…
2019-07-15
So Leo and I have been dating almost 6 months now… We have had a ton of great laughs, great sex, fun family times, and amazingly long depthful talks. It has been a wonderful time BUT in every relationship progress needs to happen, “real” discussions need to occur, bare transparencyContinue Reading
Ever been completely honest about what you want only to have people act oblivious about what you want…
2019-07-11
I have never been a bullshiter. I am very good at saying what I need and want from the people around me. With that in mind if I say I need communication, regular kisses, regular sex, 2+ nights a week sleeping together… I will give clarification if needed but thenContinue Reading
Then you call…
2019-07-11
After 1 minute that lasted 8+ hours Leo calls me and while I am agitated at things from my day it didn’t help that you got upset at every word I said! Then I was an asshole and abruptly got off the phone: Okay have a good night, phone hangup!Continue Reading
3 steps forward… 2 steps back… every time without fail
2019-07-10
Every time I feel like we are making progress he does something so clearly to make me feel like no progress has been made. Perfect example: Several nights in a row he has called, and showed up… He even surprised me with dinner the one night. Both nights he fellContinue Reading
Grass is greener… EXACTLY where I water it!
2019-07-09
Am I predictable or what? A guy I had a relationship with contacts me… Are you dating someone? Yes I am. Would you see me either way? If I run into you I would see you but not screw you! You sure you could resist me? Yepper. I miss kissingContinue Reading
An early morning note…
2019-07-06
Woke up with Leo in bed next to me… and wanting to have sex. I am always up for some sex but this morning really felt like a: he needed to finish and not go to work loaded… Whatever, we had sex a little bit and then he finished alone…Continue Reading