The unspoken topic lately


My opinion on abortion is a bit strange. I had 2 abortions in my 20’s and a few D&Cs between 15 and 30 years old. With my experiences, I have a unique understanding of abortion.

I came from a family that believed in don’t ask and don’t tell. That was my life. I had no information about sex or anything sex-related. I had no knowledge about my body. My first period scared me and I was unprepared. In 5th grade, I had fully developed and none of my friends had. This made me popular! I had been tortured at home and school until 5th grade. Every guy was WOW’d by my boobs when we started 5th grade. I had my first “real” boyfriend in my Sophomore year of high school. Steve, my boyfriend, was really great. He looked like Aidan Quinn, reference the picture below, and he was very kind to me. We had fun and I had many experiences with him including sex. I lost my virginity to Steve. Sex was intense and made me feel a chemical high like I never knew possible.

Aidan Quinn (90’s)

I ended up pregnant. I didn’t know anything about protection or the consequences. In a fit of rage, my father beat me. When he walked away from my battered body lying on the driveway cement I was sobbing in pain I had never felt before. Within the hour I was in the bathroom pouring blood and needed a D&C because I had lost the pregnancy. I was 15 years old then and I am not sure I ever really recovered emotionally.

At 22 years old, after several miscarriages and divorcing my abusive husband I entered into a relationship with my best friend Anthony. After several months together his ex, the mother of his children, threatened to keep his kids from him if he stayed with me. I immediately ended our relationship.

I played God!

I sent him away because he wasn’t allowed to choose me! I am not sure if I have ever felt pain like that before or since. Several weeks later I got the news that I was pregnant. This man, I still deeply love (just differently now), and I had created a baby together! I called him trepidatiously and said, “Anthony, I am pregnant.” It was the only time he didn’t believe me. He had a vasectomy right before we started having sex together. This broke my heart more! I was pregnant with my love’s baby, and two small children, heartbroken, and alone. I called my father and Anthony’s father. They said the worst things.

Anthony will cause you to go to hell. He will destroy your soul. He will ruin your life. Ruin your chances. He is no good. I have never heard two men speak so horribly about a son and a best friend’s son. I was terribly scared and so very hurt. I decided to have an abortion. I couldn’t have a baby along with my other children and do it alone. I couldn’t look at his child every day knowing I sent him from us. I had broken everything.

Side note:
Years later I understand a few things that I want to add here.
I broke everything because I truly believed that I didn’t deserve him. Anthony was, is, and always will be the best man I have ever known. He is a good man. He is the best hug ever. He is funny, smart, genuine, and true. He never damaged my soul.

I aborted our baby. It ripped a chunk out of my heart! I never recovered from the abortion!

Yes, abortion rights are important! BUT… abortion is not something anyone should choose lightly. The physical and emotional long-term consequences are indescribable.

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