honesty Archives - Everything and the Kitchen Sink...

Another night alone…

On: August 7, 2019

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, Abuse, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, avoidance, Begin Again, being lied to, Boundaries, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, exs, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, having some fun, health, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, Loss, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, Self-Destruct, Self-Destruct Button, Self-Destruction, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart

To start I bleached my kitchen completely. Then I bleached the dining room. Then I cleaned the floors by hand with bleach. Then got cleaned up and got in bed ALONE! Am I really so unwanted or unlovable? I refuse to drown my sad lonely feelings in random meaningless sexContinue Reading

My self-destruct button

On: August 5, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, Abuse, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, avoidance, Begin Again, being lied to, Boundaries, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, exs, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, having some fun, health, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, Loss, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart

Several years ago when I was feeling really bad about myself I met a guy who was really easy to have sex with and nothing else. No relationship, no chatting, nothing more than crazy rough semi-abusive sex and poof he would be gone. I wouldn’t need to do any ofContinue Reading

The less I talk = the further from the relationship I am

On: August 3, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, avoidance, Begin Again, checking my heart, Chemistry, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, Finding love, grass is greener on the other side, Grass is greener where you water it, grass isn't always greener on the other side, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, investing in love, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, mixed signals, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, RL, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Trust

I am a very verbal person and I don’t pull any punches about that fact. I need that verbal connection and I need it regularly. I honestly tell everyone that the more I feel unable to communicate with a person the more out of the relationship I will be. LeoContinue Reading

What to do when you are dating someone who doesn’t really parent…

On: August 3, 2019

In: Kids, Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, avoidance, Boundaries, communication, dating, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, family, Family fun, Fun, getting out of the house, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, having some fun, honesty, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Leo, mom, mom mode, Neglected, Neglectful parenting, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, relationship, relationships, Respect, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer fun, summer of Leo, the mom mode

Last night we decided to take all of the kids to a drive-in movie at Vintage Drive-in. They were showing Lion King and Aladdin. The night was off to a bit of a rocky start as Leo’s son was not happy about eating the pulled chicken I made for everyoneContinue Reading

An early morning note…

On: July 6, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, Fear, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, grass is greener, grass is greener on the other side, Grass is greener where you water it, grass isn't always greener on the other side, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, Having Kids, having some fun, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, idea of love, investing in love, kiss, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, life goals, Longing for something, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, single mode, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer of Leo, the mom mode

Woke up with Leo in bed next to me… and wanting to have sex. I am always up for some sex but this morning really felt like a: he needed to finish and not go to work loaded… Whatever, we had sex a little bit and then he finished alone…Continue Reading

3rd of July ring of fire excitement…

On: July 4, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, 4th of July, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, Begin Again, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, Chrissy, communication, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, family, Family Fireworks, Family fun, Family night out, Finding love, Finding my filling, Fireworks, Fourth of July, Fun, getting married, getting out of the house, goals, great laughs, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, having some fun, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, investing in love, kiss, kisses, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, life goals, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, marriage, marriage and family, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, Respect, ring of fire, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, single mode, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer fun, summer of Leo, talking, The Leave, Trust

It has been a straining several days and I wasn’t looking forward to the awkward drive from my house to the lake 50 minutes away with Leo and the kids. Leo has been avoiding relationship discussions for weeks now and as we are at the 6 month period I feltContinue Reading