Having a Family Archives - Everything and the Kitchen Sink...

Crying today

On: August 11, 2019

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, family, family cooking fun, Family fun, Finding love, Finding my filling, fucking, fucking a guy, Fun, fun in the kitchen, Games of the heart, getting fucked, Having a Family, having some fun, Heartbreak, I need love, I need time, investing in love, kiss, kisses, Lasting Relationships, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, no time for me, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, promises, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships that will not progress, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex without heart, sex without love, summer flings, summer of Leo, talking, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart, trying to leash my feelings, Waiting, waiting for you, waiting for your love, waiting to be loved, Why dont you love me, wishing you would love me

I love your body. I love how you feel inside me. I love your lips! I love how our bodies make love, screw, fuck, have mind blowing sex… It is always so exciting, wonderful, explosive, emotional, and relieving!Continue Reading

Waking up next to you

On: August 10, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, broken promises, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Digital Relationships, Digital Relationships vs Real Life Relationships, Distant love, family, Finding love, Finding my filling, getting fucked, great sex, Having a Family, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, I need attention, I need love, I need time, investing in love, keeping my feelings on a leash, kiss, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Lonely nights, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, nevering showing up, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, promises, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, relationships that will not progress, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex without heart, sex without love, summer of Leo, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart, trying to leash my feelings, Waiting, waiting for you, waiting for your love, waiting to be loved, Why dont you love me, wishing you would love me

The day was emotional, long, full of heart filled conversation. Today was the closest I have ever felt to a happy and healthy family of my own and now I cannot sleep. It was a wonderful night and you are always amazing with my kids. Dinner at the table asContinue Reading

Working every day to try and kill off the wife switch

On: August 6, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, broken promises, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Digital Relationships, Digital Relationships vs Real Life Relationships, Distant love, family, Finding love, Finding my filling, getting fucked, great sex, Having a Family, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, I need attention, I need love, I need time, investing in love, keeping my feelings on a leash, killing the wife mode, Killing the wife mode switch, kiss, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Lonely nights, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, nevering showing up, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, promises, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, relationships that will not progress, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex without heart, sex without love, summer of Leo, The Leave, the wife switch, Tragedy of the heart, trying to leash my feelings, Waiting, waiting for you, waiting for your love, waiting to be loved, Why dont you love me, wife, wife mode, wife mode does not turn off, wife switch, wishing you would love me

I have been a wife and mother most of my life. I have never had a time when I wasn’t raising kids or taking care of a full household like a wife. This is the first time I am really NOT a wife and it feels virtually impossible to turnContinue Reading

What to do when you are dating someone who doesn’t really parent…

On: August 3, 2019

In: Kids, Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, avoidance, Boundaries, communication, dating, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, family, Family fun, Fun, getting out of the house, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, having some fun, honesty, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Leo, mom, mom mode, Neglected, Neglectful parenting, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, relationship, relationships, Respect, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer fun, summer of Leo, the mom mode

Last night we decided to take all of the kids to a drive-in movie at Vintage Drive-in. They were showing Lion King and Aladdin. The night was off to a bit of a rocky start as Leo’s son was not happy about eating the pulled chicken I made for everyoneContinue Reading

3 steps forward… 2 steps back… every time without fail

On: July 10, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Digital Relationships, Digital Relationships vs Real Life Relationships, family, Having a Family, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Leo, marriage and family, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, relationship, relationships, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer of Leo

Every time I feel like we are making progress he does something so clearly to make me feel like no progress has been made. Perfect example: Several nights in a row he has called, and showed up… He even surprised me with dinner the one night. Both nights he fellContinue Reading

An early morning note…

On: July 6, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, Fear, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, grass is greener, grass is greener on the other side, Grass is greener where you water it, grass isn't always greener on the other side, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, Having Kids, having some fun, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, idea of love, investing in love, kiss, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, life goals, Longing for something, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, single mode, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer of Leo, the mom mode

Woke up with Leo in bed next to me… and wanting to have sex. I am always up for some sex but this morning really felt like a: he needed to finish and not go to work loaded… Whatever, we had sex a little bit and then he finished alone…Continue Reading

3rd of July ring of fire excitement…

On: July 4, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, 4th of July, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, Begin Again, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, Chrissy, communication, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, family, Family Fireworks, Family fun, Family night out, Finding love, Finding my filling, Fireworks, Fourth of July, Fun, getting married, getting out of the house, goals, great laughs, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, having some fun, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, investing in love, kiss, kisses, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, life goals, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, marriage, marriage and family, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, Respect, ring of fire, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, single mode, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer fun, summer of Leo, talking, The Leave, Trust

It has been a straining several days and I wasn’t looking forward to the awkward drive from my house to the lake 50 minutes away with Leo and the kids. Leo has been avoiding relationship discussions for weeks now and as we are at the 6 month period I feltContinue Reading

Start of my book…

On: January 12, 2017

In: Personal

Tagged: Abuse, Abusers with no consequences, Andrew and Samanthas Dad, Begin Again, being lied to, Boundaries, Brett, child abuse, Childhood Abuse, Custody Battles, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Family Physical Abuse, Fear, Finding love, Finding my filling, First Loves, Having a Family, Having Kids, Heart, Heartbreak, idea of love, Lies, Longing for something, Loss, Lost Virginity, love, Married Young and Abused, monroe county, Monroe County NYS, My Book, Neglected, Neglectful parenting, NYS, NYS Domestic Violence, OP, Orders of Protection, Parental and Spousal Abuse, Protecting my heart, sex, Spousal Abuse, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart

As part of me starting to move on, become stronger, grow, and let things out to help me forgive I wanted to write my story. In the beginning, there was a man and a women who were together as just a fling. My father loved my mother but my motherContinue Reading