Was put on an emergency dose of Bupropion HCL XL 150 MG to try and help the sinkhole I have started to emotionally sink into. Some people are a bit worried about me and because I am very self-aware I am worried myself so I agreed to take this pillContinue Reading
My life is no longer full of you.All that remains are empty spaces.Holes from a family, life, and love that existed but you threw away. My heartbreak is endless, excruciating, and breathtaking.Continue Reading
This was my first night without you in years… I am in excruciating pain. Feeling so deeply wounded. So sick. I have been vomiting and having painful diarrhea for almost 24 hours. I miss you! I miss our 5 billion moments together every day and night! Continue Reading
As I have watched Leon pack all week long I am looking around my empty bedroom and so deeply hurting! I already miss him more than I ever thought possible and he is still here until tomorrow! Please tell me things will work out and we will build a beautifulContinue Reading
In the past week, everything has gotten HUGE! Leon is leaving this week and moving to Tennessee. My friend is moving. My other friend is away for a while supporting her son who is having a heart transplant. Leon’s family is really alienating me. My transmission is about to die…Continue Reading
The black pit of despair that is filled with an empty feeling caused such physical distress that my bodyContinue Reading
Next thing I know there were multiple CPS workers at my home as I pulled into the driveway with my daughter. At first, I didn’t think anything of it because I had nothing to hide.Continue Reading
Yes, abortion rights are important! BUT… abortion is not something anyone should choose lightly. The physical and emotional long-term consequences are indescribable. Continue Reading
Every year for the past few years we have all gone to Seabreeze amusement park as a big family adventure. Leon’s dad treats and it is a blast. This year was really interesting because his dad isn’t speaking to me. It was really uncomfortable to try and speak to someoneContinue Reading
The other day we all went to the ice cream place for family ice cream. It was Leon, the four kids, and Leon’s Aunt and parents. The night was going well until Elyjah (Leon’s son) started behaving in a way that was a bit childish. He was digging in theContinue Reading
I have always prided myself on respecting other people’s privacy but I recently had a moment of violating the privacy of another. What happens when you violate a person’s privacy? You run the risk of finding out information that can emotionally hurt you! And here we are… I violate privacyContinue Reading
I know people who actually emotionally hurt me just by how they obsess over things on Facebook. I know that is a strange thing to say but how they react to things on Facebook causes me distress! For example, I know this guy who is in his late 40s, heContinue Reading
Here is a tiny run down of what has been going on here: * Finishing the move * My son got his tonsils and adenoids removed * I got my wisdom teeth pulled and experienced an infection and dry socket * Unpacking a ton * Ups and downs of beingContinue Reading
All of my friends tell me I am not lonely. My therapist tells me I am angry, and it makes the loneliness feel bigger. My Ma always said I am not lonely because I have all my kids. I have always had moments of feeling alone. I have experienced relationshipsContinue Reading
I have spent 40 some odd years insisting I am moral and honest but in actuality, I have been keeping so many secrets all my life… Let the purge begin… * My 1st cousin tried to stick something in me sexually when we were 12. * When I was 10Continue Reading
After my recent diagnosis of bipolar, I have now been put on medication to help stabilize my moods. Meds are Oxycarbazepine for mood swings and hydroxyzine for anxiety. I hate the idea of taking any medications let alone mood-related chemicals. If I am being honest I am scared to loseContinue Reading
I have always thought my priorities were in check until the past few months when I began wondering if maybe I have had them all wrong. I saw my life as a set of priorities that started with Family! Priorities: Family (including the LTG if he exists) – I believeContinue Reading
Leo sees a therapist which I support and cheer for but I wish he would also discuss things with me after therapy. WHY you ask? Not because I feel it is my business or anything but because when he leaves therapy he acts very strange towards me. Example is yesterday…Continue Reading
It is so funny because when I was younger I never dated and then when I was in a relationship it was never about the long-term guy for my life. I dated more for fun if I dated and I NEVER thought about longevity of a relationship. Funny thing thatContinue Reading
