all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s Archives

Another night alone…

On: August 7, 2019

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, Abuse, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, avoidance, Begin Again, being lied to, Boundaries, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, exs, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, having some fun, health, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, Loss, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, Self-Destruct, Self-Destruct Button, Self-Destruction, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart

To start I bleached my kitchen completely. Then I bleached the dining room. Then I cleaned the floors by hand with bleach. Then got cleaned up and got in bed ALONE! Am I really so unwanted or unlovable? I refuse to drown my sad lonely feelings in random meaningless sexContinue Reading

My self-destruct button

On: August 5, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, Abuse, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, avoidance, Begin Again, being lied to, Boundaries, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, exs, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, having some fun, health, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, Loss, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart

Several years ago when I was feeling really bad about myself I met a guy who was really easy to have sex with and nothing else. No relationship, no chatting, nothing more than crazy rough semi-abusive sex and poof he would be gone. I wouldn’t need to do any ofContinue Reading

An early morning note…

On: July 6, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, Fear, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, grass is greener, grass is greener on the other side, Grass is greener where you water it, grass isn't always greener on the other side, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, Having Kids, having some fun, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, idea of love, investing in love, kiss, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, life goals, Longing for something, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, single mode, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer of Leo, the mom mode

Woke up with Leo in bed next to me… and wanting to have sex. I am always up for some sex but this morning really felt like a: he needed to finish and not go to work loaded… Whatever, we had sex a little bit and then he finished alone…Continue Reading

Concert night!

On: July 5, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, Bucket list, CMAC, communication, concert, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Fun, getting out of the house, hating dating, Hating the dating, having some fun, hear you me, Heart, Jimmy eat world, Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me, Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me for my Ma, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, ra ra riot, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer fun, summer gods tour, summer gods tour 2019, summer of Leo, third eye blind

Third Eye Blind, Jimmy Eat World, and Ra Ra Riot were the artists playing! I was mostly excited to see Jimmy Eat World because the song I dedicate to my Ma is by them. Jimmy Eat World – Hear You Me Well Leo was late arriving at my house butContinue Reading

3rd of July ring of fire excitement…

On: July 4, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, 4th of July, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, Begin Again, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, Chrissy, communication, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, family, Family Fireworks, Family fun, Family night out, Finding love, Finding my filling, Fireworks, Fourth of July, Fun, getting married, getting out of the house, goals, great laughs, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, having some fun, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, investing in love, kiss, kisses, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, life goals, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, marriage, marriage and family, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, Respect, ring of fire, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, single mode, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer fun, summer of Leo, talking, The Leave, Trust

It has been a straining several days and I wasn’t looking forward to the awkward drive from my house to the lake 50 minutes away with Leo and the kids. Leo has been avoiding relationship discussions for weeks now and as we are at the 6 month period I feltContinue Reading

Welcome to my new journal!

On: April 19, 2019

In: Uncategorized

Tagged: a little bit of everything about my life, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, me journaling, My journal

I decided to start an online journal to track my thoughts, growth, emotional changes, situational habits, stressors, and different things that are going on with the kids that might be causing me to have a hard time. I have found that since the kids started discussing the possibility ofContinue Reading