Another night alone…

To start I bleached my kitchen completely.

Then I bleached the dining room.

Then I cleaned the floors by hand with bleach.

Then got cleaned up and got in bed ALONE!

Am I really so unwanted or unlovable? I refuse to drown my sad lonely feelings in random meaningless sex but I really want to right now! It would help me make these feelings disappear! It is however a form of self abuse!

Self-Destruct Button
Self-Destruct Button

I use meaningless sex to stop me from having feelings of any type… it is such and unhealthy cooping mechanism. I haven’t done it in a long time but lately I have really been wanting to push the self-destruct button! Literally punch the fuck out of the button!

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