Was put on an emergency dose of Bupropion HCL XL 150 MG to try and help the sinkhole I have started to emotionally sink into. Some people are a bit worried about me and because I am very self-aware I am worried myself so I agreed to take this pillContinue Reading
My life is no longer full of you.All that remains are empty spaces.Holes from a family, life, and love that existed but you threw away. My heartbreak is endless, excruciating, and breathtaking.Continue Reading
This was my first night without you in years… I am in excruciating pain. Feeling so deeply wounded. So sick. I have been vomiting and having painful diarrhea for almost 24 hours. I miss you! I miss our 5 billion moments together every day and night! Continue Reading
As I have watched Leon pack all week long I am looking around my empty bedroom and so deeply hurting! I already miss him more than I ever thought possible and he is still here until tomorrow! Please tell me things will work out and we will build a beautifulContinue Reading
The black pit of despair that is filled with an empty feeling caused such physical distress that my bodyContinue Reading
My son, 24 this past January, moved out last night. Just for the details: My son is Autistic, abusive towards me, irresponsible, and 24. Several years ago he moved out with my love and support. I even continued to pay his phone bill and go to his apartment and wakeContinue Reading
Every year for the past few years we have all gone to Seabreeze amusement park as a big family adventure. Leon’s dad treats and it is a blast. This year was really interesting because his dad isn’t speaking to me. It was really uncomfortable to try and speak to someoneContinue Reading
For most of my life, I have been a hardcore gamer. My definition of being a hardcore gamer is a person who spends time strategizing, building, enjoying gaming. The typical gaming choice for me is strategic wargames. I used to love Age of Empires (all the versions), GoW, and similarContinue Reading
Tomorrow morning I will start a new weight loss trial. Attempting to get my physical stuff back to where it was before I had kids, got sick, and gained weight that has made me miserable. My doctor has put me on phentermine 15 mgs once a day starting tomorrow am. Continue Reading
Tonight a friend that I have known for a few years and was my old neighbor messaged me. He said hey whatcha doing? Would you like some company? I was so excited at the thought I temporarily forgot that I don’t really like hanging out with him because he hasContinue Reading
What really happens to your body when you stop making love Intimacy and physical contact are things humans need to survive, and yes that includes a little action between the sheets. Has it been a while since you’ve done the deed? Maybe you and your partner have lost a bitContinue Reading
If you have read anything in my blog recently you would know I started several challenges. My challenge #2 is 100 days with no sex of any kind. The more and more I thought about my life I have used sex as a way to trigger a wall inside myselfContinue Reading
My Facebook post today: Way too much emotion in 1 day! 😊😂😭😡🤬🤪😲 LOL My son had pre-k graduation and it was emotional. How did my kids grow up so fast? It was a blink of an eye and they are about to be 5, 5, 7, 20, and 22! IContinue Reading
This morning started out with one simple plan which was to get my glasses fixed or a new pair. I didn’t really care but I have no money available so whichever I could get done with the smallest amount of funds needed would be my plan of action. I calledContinue Reading
Tonight I went to put my glasses on and they fell right apart in my hands. The search will be on in the morning for a place to either get them fixed or get new ones. I cannot see anything without them and walking is almost impossible. Fingers crossed andContinue Reading
Oh boy some of this has been a lot harder so I am thinking I should edit some of the challenges to allow me more success and room for moving up. So, I will be updating this challenge within the next day to start over more reasonable goal to startContinue Reading
This challenge is by far going to be the most difficult. It already is showing difficult in my discussions. My friends are always cracking sex jokes and I banter along with them all. I found myself getting into a few of these discussions. Other than that I am doing wellContinue Reading
Today, 6/12/18, has been a pretty productive walking and physically active day! I met my daughter at the park for picnic day with her school. We did a lot of walking, playing catch, blowing bubbles, and being active! I am around 1800 steps today between everything and some of thoseContinue Reading
Well so far so good on this challenge… I have had Joe blocked since yesterday midday. I haven’t checked the blocked folder on my phone to read the messages. I haven’t unblocked him because I was lonely and wanted someone to talk to. I have also blocked Anthony and BrianContinue Reading
30,000 steps in a week. Monitored by my watch and possibly more steps after this amount is accomplished. This will keep me physically active and feeling better inside myself. My calculations show me that to accomplish this for a week I would need to walk about 2,100 steps a day. Continue Reading
