Games of the heart Archives - Everything and the Kitchen Sink...

Crying today

On: August 11, 2019

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, family, family cooking fun, Family fun, Finding love, Finding my filling, fucking, fucking a guy, Fun, fun in the kitchen, Games of the heart, getting fucked, Having a Family, having some fun, Heartbreak, I need love, I need time, investing in love, kiss, kisses, Lasting Relationships, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, no time for me, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, promises, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships that will not progress, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex without heart, sex without love, summer flings, summer of Leo, talking, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart, trying to leash my feelings, Waiting, waiting for you, waiting for your love, waiting to be loved, Why dont you love me, wishing you would love me

I love your body. I love how you feel inside me. I love your lips! I love how our bodies make love, screw, fuck, have mind blowing sex… It is always so exciting, wonderful, explosive, emotional, and relieving!Continue Reading

Another night alone…

On: August 7, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, Abuse, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, avoidance, Begin Again, being lied to, Boundaries, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, exs, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, having some fun, health, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, Loss, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, Self-Destruct, Self-Destruct Button, Self-Destruction, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart

To start I bleached my kitchen completely. Then I bleached the dining room. Then I cleaned the floors by hand with bleach. Then got cleaned up and got in bed ALONE! Am I really so unwanted or unlovable? I refuse to drown my sad lonely feelings in random meaningless sexContinue Reading

My self-destruct button

On: August 5, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, Abuse, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, avoidance, Begin Again, being lied to, Boundaries, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, exs, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, having some fun, health, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, Loss, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart

Several years ago when I was feeling really bad about myself I met a guy who was really easy to have sex with and nothing else. No relationship, no chatting, nothing more than crazy rough semi-abusive sex and poof he would be gone. I wouldn’t need to do any ofContinue Reading

Another lonely night

On: August 4, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Digital Relationships, Digital Relationships vs Real Life Relationships, Distant love, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, grass is greener, grass is greener on the other side, Grass is greener where you water it, grass isn't always greener on the other side, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, idea of love, investing in love, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Lonely nights, Longing for something, love, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer of Leo, talking, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave

Why am I not single? I just don’t understand why not just be single because I spend 65% of my time alone and almost every night of the week in bed alone so why am I dating Leo? I get so lonely at night and it is really hard toContinue Reading

An early morning note…

On: July 6, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, Fear, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, grass is greener, grass is greener on the other side, Grass is greener where you water it, grass isn't always greener on the other side, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, Having Kids, having some fun, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, idea of love, investing in love, kiss, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, life goals, Longing for something, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, single mode, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer of Leo, the mom mode

Woke up with Leo in bed next to me… and wanting to have sex. I am always up for some sex but this morning really felt like a: he needed to finish and not go to work loaded… Whatever, we had sex a little bit and then he finished alone…Continue Reading

The game you are playing with my heart…

On: July 1, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: dating, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Digital, Digital Relationships, Digital Relationships vs Real Life Relationships, Games of the heart, Hating the dating, Heartbreak, Love Games, Neglected, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, relationships, RL, single mom trying to date

I am so exhausted with the games… Friday night was great… we did dinner, played with the kids, and had a great “family” night. Saturday morning was even better… After sex for hours we both fell asleep to wake up wrapped around one another! We both tag teamed to getContinue Reading

Waiting

On: June 18, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, Begin Again, being lied to, broken promises, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, I need attention, I need love, I need time, investing in love, Leo, Lies, Lonely nights, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, nevering showing up, no call, no time for me, Playing with my heart, promises, relationship, relationship goals, summer of Leo, Tragedy of the heart, Waiting, waiting for you, waiting for your love, waiting to be loved, you are nonexistent

I keep waiting for you to show up.Waiting for you to show your love for me.Hoping that how I show up for you will be how you show up for me.Promises that you will call and then no calls received.Promises that you will show up and spend time with meContinue Reading

Alone again

On: June 17, 2019

In: Personal

What good is being in a relationship with someone when I end up alone every night? I feel like I am still seeing Joe! Always something better to do than to spend time with me. Always more important things going on. More priorities that are on the list while IContinue Reading

Bad day with Leo

On: June 15, 2019

In: Personal

Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, Begin Again, being lied to, broken promises, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, Finding my filling, fucking, fucking a guy, Games of the heart, getting fucked, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, I need attention, I need love, I need time, investing in love, keeping my feelings on a leash, Leo, Lies, Lonely nights, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, nevering showing up, no call, no time for me, Playing with my heart, promises, relationship, relationship goals, relationships that will not progress, sex, sex without heart, sex without love, summer of Leo, Tragedy of the heart, trying to leash my feelings, Waiting, waiting for you, waiting for your love, waiting to be loved, Why dont you love me, wishing you would love me, you are nonexistent

Today I left him alone knowing that he had 3 lacrosse games for Elyjah in Canandaigua and then when I heard from him it was very short sounding so I replied in kind. He was very upset and when I dropped by around 9:30pm to give him the Father’s DayContinue Reading