As a deep anguish covers my breath I call someone who has been in my life over 20 years.
I am in a restaurant and I tell her I am feeling desperately lonely. I am feeling so lonely it is hurting to breath or think. I am not well on any level of the imagination.
She said: You are alone in a room full of people.
I am. I am beyond alone in every moment of my life. I have been in therapy for 23 years and still cannot manage to replace that encompassing deep hole of loneliness. The black pit of despair that is filled with an empty feeling caused such physical distress that my body is unable to temporarily function. I become scared of the depth of pain I feel.
Does anyone else experience this excruciating loneliness?