Jenna and I
2019-08-16
Tonight I called Jenna a friend of mine and we spent hours debating about politics, life, sex, dating, media and everything in between! I love our long debates!Continue Reading
The phone call
2019-08-16
My last post was all about how you didn’t call. It was the end of my day around 11:30 or so and you had yet to call me and say goodnight. I figured you were asleep! 3 minutes to midnight the phone rang and it was you. Leo called whileContinue Reading
The funky smell covering my house today…
2019-08-15
Ever had a smell in your house that you couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from and you were driven crazy by the smell? Well this morning when I walked downstairs into my living room I was hit in the face by a smell that brought me to a vergeContinue Reading
3d Printing Business
2019-08-15
We are working really hard and going to be starting a 3d printing and engraving business within the next 2 months. Currently starting to do the research and test prints for what will be our standard bulk prints. I am excited about all of this! Our research shows there isContinue Reading
Started a seminar called: Make him worship you
2019-08-12
On:
In: Reviews
So what is the scoop on this whole spiel? I am about to tell you and I am NOT paid by them to say anything… For starters this 265 or so pages is full of a TON of fluff. The first several pages are bull about what we will readContinue Reading
Crying today
2019-08-11
On:
In: Personal
Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, Chemistry, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, family, family cooking fun, Family fun, Finding love, Finding my filling, fucking, fucking a guy, Fun, fun in the kitchen, Games of the heart, getting fucked, Having a Family, having some fun, Heartbreak, I need love, I need time, investing in love, kiss, kisses, Lasting Relationships, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, no time for me, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, promises, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships that will not progress, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex without heart, sex without love, summer flings, summer of Leo, talking, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart, trying to leash my feelings, Waiting, waiting for you, waiting for your love, waiting to be loved, Why dont you love me, wishing you would love me
I love your body. I love how you feel inside me. I love your lips! I love how our bodies make love, screw, fuck, have mind blowing sex… It is always so exciting, wonderful, explosive, emotional, and relieving!Continue Reading
Waking up next to you
2019-08-10
On:
In: Personal
Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, broken promises, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Digital Relationships, Digital Relationships vs Real Life Relationships, Distant love, family, Finding love, Finding my filling, getting fucked, great sex, Having a Family, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, I need attention, I need love, I need time, investing in love, keeping my feelings on a leash, kiss, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Lonely nights, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, nevering showing up, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, promises, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, relationships that will not progress, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex without heart, sex without love, summer of Leo, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart, trying to leash my feelings, Waiting, waiting for you, waiting for your love, waiting to be loved, Why dont you love me, wishing you would love me
The day was emotional, long, full of heart filled conversation. Today was the closest I have ever felt to a happy and healthy family of my own and now I cannot sleep. It was a wonderful night and you are always amazing with my kids. Dinner at the table asContinue Reading
Another night alone…
2019-08-07
On:
In: Personal
Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, Abuse, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, avoidance, Begin Again, being lied to, Boundaries, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, exs, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, having some fun, health, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, Loss, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, Self-Destruct, Self-Destruct Button, Self-Destruction, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart
To start I bleached my kitchen completely. Then I bleached the dining room. Then I cleaned the floors by hand with bleach. Then got cleaned up and got in bed ALONE! Am I really so unwanted or unlovable? I refuse to drown my sad lonely feelings in random meaningless sexContinue Reading
Working every day to try and kill off the wife switch
2019-08-06
On:
In: Personal
Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, broken promises, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Digital Relationships, Digital Relationships vs Real Life Relationships, Distant love, family, Finding love, Finding my filling, getting fucked, great sex, Having a Family, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, I need attention, I need love, I need time, investing in love, keeping my feelings on a leash, killing the wife mode, Killing the wife mode switch, kiss, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Lonely nights, Longing for something, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, nevering showing up, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, promises, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, relationships that will not progress, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex without heart, sex without love, summer of Leo, The Leave, the wife switch, Tragedy of the heart, trying to leash my feelings, Waiting, waiting for you, waiting for your love, waiting to be loved, Why dont you love me, wife, wife mode, wife mode does not turn off, wife switch, wishing you would love me
I have been a wife and mother most of my life. I have never had a time when I wasn’t raising kids or taking care of a full household like a wife. This is the first time I am really NOT a wife and it feels virtually impossible to turnContinue Reading
My self-destruct button
2019-08-05
On:
In: Personal
Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, a little bit of everything about my life, Abuse, all the funny crazy things that happen when you are a single mom trying to date in your 40s, avoidance, Begin Again, being lied to, Boundaries, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, exs, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, great sex, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, having some fun, health, Heart, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, Loss, love, Love Games, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, Lust, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, redirection, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, RL, sex, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, sex with no orgasm, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Tragedy of the heart
Several years ago when I was feeling really bad about myself I met a guy who was really easy to have sex with and nothing else. No relationship, no chatting, nothing more than crazy rough semi-abusive sex and poof he would be gone. I wouldn’t need to do any ofContinue Reading
Another lonely night
2019-08-04
On:
In: Personal
Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, can heartbreak cause actual heartbreak, constantly alone but dating, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Digital Relationships, Digital Relationships vs Real Life Relationships, Distant love, Finding love, Finding my filling, Games of the heart, grass is greener, grass is greener on the other side, Grass is greener where you water it, grass isn't always greener on the other side, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, idea of love, investing in love, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Lonely nights, Longing for something, love, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, mixed signals, need kisses, needing to be kissed, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, relationships, Respect, sex with a guy who doesnt want you, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer flings, summer of Leo, talking, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave
Why am I not single? I just don’t understand why not just be single because I spend 65% of my time alone and almost every night of the week in bed alone so why am I dating Leo? I get so lonely at night and it is really hard toContinue Reading
The less I talk = the further from the relationship I am
2019-08-03
On:
In: Personal
Tagged: 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, avoidance, Begin Again, checking my heart, Chemistry, communication, crushing my own heart, dating, dating a guy who just isnt into you, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, Distant love, Finding love, grass is greener on the other side, Grass is greener where you water it, grass isn't always greener on the other side, hard to love, hating dating, Hating the dating, Heartbreak, hes just not that into you, honesty, how to destroy love for a person that hurts you, investing in love, lack of communication, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Learning to love, Leo, Longing for something, love is difficult when you are planning for the leave, mixed signals, Neglected, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, Playing with my heart, Preparing to be hurt, Protecting my heart, relationship, relationship goals, RL, summer flings, summer of Leo, Talking less equals less relationship, Talking less equals no love, The Leave, Trust
I am a very verbal person and I don’t pull any punches about that fact. I need that verbal connection and I need it regularly. I honestly tell everyone that the more I feel unable to communicate with a person the more out of the relationship I will be. LeoContinue Reading
What to do when you are dating someone who doesn’t really parent…
2019-08-03
On:
Tagged: 40 something single mom and dating, 40 something single mom and hating the dating, avoidance, Boundaries, communication, dating, Dating as a single mom, Dating in 2010s, Dating in your 40s, Dating Sucks, family, Family fun, Fun, getting out of the house, hating dating, Hating the dating, Having a Family, having some fun, honesty, Lasting Relationships, learning the ropes of dating in your 40s, Leo, mom, mom mode, Neglected, Neglectful parenting, neglectful relationship, Neglectful Relationships, relationship, relationships, Respect, single mom, single mom dating, single mom trying to date, summer fun, summer of Leo, the mom mode
Last night we decided to take all of the kids to a drive-in movie at Vintage Drive-in. They were showing Lion King and Aladdin. The night was off to a bit of a rocky start as Leo’s son was not happy about eating the pulled chicken I made for everyoneContinue Reading