I am a very verbal person and I don’t pull any punches about that fact. I need that verbal connection and I need it regularly. I honestly tell everyone that the more I feel unable to communicate with a person the more out of the relationship I will be.
Leo regularly gets upset with what I say, how I say something, or whatever the problem is… My past has showed very clearly that the less I want to speak the further away emotionally I will become and Leo is really testing that theory. I feel very limited with what I can say, joke about, discussion seriously… Because of the limitations I have started to care less about keep the communication going. I find myself just not wanting the disagreement, negative attitude, angry voice I get from him when I say something he doesn’t want to hear. Now I am hardly speaking at all. Only discussing lots of fluff and bullshit.
It isn’t hurting as much either that the communication is stopping. It is actually starting to feel alright the less and less communication is happening. I was starved for the communication but it was always just so trying and now who gives a fuck! I get it… I am temporary in his life. He already said recently that he doesn’t think he is ready to be in a relationship. He also recently said that he doesn’t ever want to move-in with me. These are clear signs that we are not going to ever progress past where we are right now so why keep pushing for a better relationship.