3rd of July ring of fire excitement…

It has been a straining several days and I wasn’t looking forward to the awkward drive from my house to the lake 50 minutes away with Leo and the kids. Leo has been avoiding relationship discussions for weeks now and as we are at the 6 month period I felt it would be healthy to have the discussion about where we both are and if our relationship goals are lining up or not…

Since he has done everything to avoid this discussion I really worried that the car ride would be uncomfortable because what is there to discuss… If we can discuss everything but this topic I am pretty clear where our relationship is headed… to the trash!?! Most of the ride there was filled with discussions of his ex, Chrissy, and his son who kept calling. I really love his son but I am exhausted by the constant discussions about Chrissy. Most of our 6 months has been filled with Chrissy! I feel nonexistent at times because I will never be as important as Chrissy is… It is painful!

We get to Vitale Park and there is no parking so I decided to drive around the lake to the other main parking area. After about another 30 minute drive we get to the other park and find a spot. He is still on the phone back and forth with his son and then the phone call comes from Chrissy. After unpacking and starting to eat dinner at a picnic table he is still on and off of his phone. If it isn’t one thing it is another… His siblings, his ex, his son.

As we are sitting there and his phone is finally done for a bit my 7 year old daughter starts talking about Leo and I getting married and how happy that would make her. I immediately said we are not getting married. She started to argue and insist that we need to get married. There was a moment when I felt in my heart it might bring us to a forever relationship but I am growing more certain everyday that he doesn’t/hasn’t/will never see me as his forever person. He has that person already, Chrissy and there is no room for anyone else there.

The fireworks were not as great in the area we were comparing them to Vitale park but the ring of fire was inspired. Always an awesome show that brings me to my feet!

On the way home his son called a few times and we didn’t really speak at all. Made it home and got all the kids into bed and back asleep. I got in bed and figured he was or already had left. When he came to get in bed I felt happy. We then had some great sex until he literally fell asleep. I then fell fast asleep!

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