Was put on an emergency dose of Bupropion HCL XL 150 MG to try and help the sinkhole I have started to emotionally sink into. Some people are a bit worried about me and because I am very self-aware I am worried myself so I agreed to take this pillContinue Reading
Tomorrow morning I will start a new weight loss trial. Attempting to get my physical stuff back to where it was before I had kids, got sick, and gained weight that has made me miserable. My doctor has put me on phentermine 15 mgs once a day starting tomorrow am. Continue Reading
What really happens to your body when you stop making love Intimacy and physical contact are things humans need to survive, and yes that includes a little action between the sheets. Has it been a while since you’ve done the deed? Maybe you and your partner have lost a bitContinue Reading
If you have read anything in my blog recently you would know I started several challenges. My challenge #2 is 100 days with no sex of any kind. The more and more I thought about my life I have used sex as a way to trigger a wall inside myselfContinue Reading
This morning started out with one simple plan which was to get my glasses fixed or a new pair. I didn’t really care but I have no money available so whichever I could get done with the smallest amount of funds needed would be my plan of action. I calledContinue Reading
Oh boy some of this has been a lot harder so I am thinking I should edit some of the challenges to allow me more success and room for moving up. So, I will be updating this challenge within the next day to start over more reasonable goal to startContinue Reading
This challenge is by far going to be the most difficult. It already is showing difficult in my discussions. My friends are always cracking sex jokes and I banter along with them all. I found myself getting into a few of these discussions. Other than that I am doing wellContinue Reading
Today, 6/12/18, has been a pretty productive walking and physically active day! I met my daughter at the park for picnic day with her school. We did a lot of walking, playing catch, blowing bubbles, and being active! I am around 1800 steps today between everything and some of thoseContinue Reading
Well so far so good on this challenge… I have had Joe blocked since yesterday midday. I haven’t checked the blocked folder on my phone to read the messages. I haven’t unblocked him because I was lonely and wanted someone to talk to. I have also blocked Anthony and BrianContinue Reading
30,000 steps in a week. Monitored by my watch and possibly more steps after this amount is accomplished. This will keep me physically active and feeling better inside myself. My calculations show me that to accomplish this for a week I would need to walk about 2,100 steps a day. Continue Reading
End my relationships with a few key people that I think are negatively impacting my feelings about myself and others. The people include: Joe Anthony (my best friend) Brian (need to return drill first) There are many people in my life. I have people that have known me since IContinue Reading
6/11 The morning is starting out very difficult. I have already said 13 words between the kids good mornings and Andrew asked me questions. It was very hard not giving full sentence detailed responses. THIS MIGHT BE A LOT HARDER THAN I EXPECTED! Day 1 and I have already spokenContinue Reading
1000 words – Giving myself ONLY 1000 words for the week. This would include any texts, any online facebook posts, any chatting on the phone, any talking in person… anything other than this blog that would be communicating with another person. It would require me to keep track of allContinue Reading
100 days with no sex at all. No sex, no sexual activity, no blow jobs, no receiving, no physical sexual contact with another person for a full 100 days! No exceptions. As a person who was sexually abused as a child I think my view of sex was different fromContinue Reading
1 full day a week with no gaming – no gaming at all. From the time I wake up till I wake up the next morning. A little background… This week of 6/11/2018 I am going to spend some time evaluating what day I might game the most onContinue Reading
I started thinking about what things I would like to do. What might help everyone in my life including myself. Some of these I will complete relatively quick like #4 on my list. Others are longer challenges that will take some time, effort, and monitoring. I will be successful. SoContinue Reading
I live in Monroe County in NYS. Am I sure it actually matters where in this country you live? No, I am not. I have spent most of my life in NYS and all of that time I was with one abuser or another. What I can start with isContinue Reading
For years I have been really sick. Pains down my left side, inability to eat normally, exhaustion constantly, pain in my legs and numbness constantly. Today I was scheduled for an emergency hysterectomy for next week! There was a large-sized mass a bit bigger than a baseball. I am terrifiedContinue Reading
