Challenge #2 – No sex of any kind record

This challenge is by far going to be the most difficult.  It already is showing difficult in my discussions.  My friends are always cracking sex jokes and I banter along with them all.  I found myself getting into a few of these discussions.  Other than that I am doing well with this challenge but we are only a day in.

6/14/18 – I miss sex completely!  I know I can do this but will it destroy me in the process?  hahaha

Okay nobody every died from lack of sex right?!?  I mean could that be a real thing?  I honestly hope not because I will end up dead.  Lets keep the no sex train moving!  YAY

It is 12:30 am on Saturday the 16th of June 2018…  yesterday I had therapy and emotions were brought up that made me want to feel betterand drown out the emotions.  Sex would have shut all of these emotions down.  It would have made me stop feeling the sad feelings.  I wouldn’t have felt good feelings but I wouldn’t have felt the bad ones either.  THIS IS WHY I AM DOING THIS CHALLENGE!  I need to not use a vice to turn off my emotions.  I need to feel them, look at them, heal myself, and grown from them.  I need to be able to live inside myself completely.  Not always hiding myself from feeling things that are HUGE right now.  At one point in my life these feelings were not HUGE they were small and manageable but because of avoidance they became too big to handle.  Then I had no choice but to drown them out with sex or shopping for socks.

I honestly thought this would be the hardest challenge and although it is difficult I think this is soooo very good for me!

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