The daughter I never knew…
Written around 2003 On Christmas Day 2 years ago I had our third child. She was born and never loved by her father or his family. I tried for so long to not get attached and wouldn’t even hold her. I sat down with her family to be and toldContinue Reading
Welcome to the fun…
As a single mom of 5 kids I have spent most of my life being exactly that… Single and a Mom My youngest kids were born in 2013 a set of b/g twins and I am finally starting to learn and grow as a completely single mom of 5. UntilContinue Reading
An old writing to Brett…
From around 2001-2002 Sometimes I am hurting because I still can’t understand why exactly you did all of the things that you have done. I know at this point I will never look at you as the man that I thought I once knew. After all of the stuff andContinue Reading
Ask Yourself These Questions!
Written around 1999-2001 Now, to start I would like to tell you all a little story that happened to me a long time ago! It all started one night while I was laying in bed with my husband after a long day of arguing. It all started when we gotContinue Reading
The wicked 4…
For most of my life, I have been a hardcore gamer. My definition of being a hardcore gamer is a person who spends time strategizing, building, enjoying gaming. The typical gaming choice for me is strategic wargames. I used to love Age of Empires (all the versions), GoW, and similarContinue Reading
Tomorrow starts a new weight loss trial
Tomorrow morning I will start a new weight loss trial. Attempting to get my physical stuff back to where it was before I had kids, got sick, and gained weight that has made me miserable. My doctor has put me on phentermine 15 mgs once a day starting tomorrow am. Continue Reading
Physical contact is a strange thing
Tonight a friend that I have known for a few years and was my old neighbor messaged me. He said hey whatcha doing? Would you like some company? I was so excited at the thought I temporarily forgot that I don’t really like hanging out with him because he hasContinue Reading
What really happens to your body when you stop making love
What really happens to your body when you stop making love Intimacy and physical contact are things humans need to survive, and yes that includes a little action between the sheets. Has it been a while since you’ve done the deed? Maybe you and your partner have lost a bitContinue Reading
Very emotional day and I think I figured out why I am having them a lot recently
If you have read anything in my blog recently you would know I started several challenges. My challenge #2 is 100 days with no sex of any kind. The more and more I thought about my life I have used sex as a way to trigger a wall inside myselfContinue Reading
Today was full of every emotion ever
My Facebook post today: Way too much emotion in 1 day! 😊😂😭😡🤬🤪😲 LOL My son had pre-k graduation and it was emotional. How did my kids grow up so fast? It was a blink of an eye and they are about to be 5, 5, 7, 20, and 22! IContinue Reading
Lots accomplished today
This morning started out with one simple plan which was to get my glasses fixed or a new pair. I didn’t really care but I have no money available so whichever I could get done with the smallest amount of funds needed would be my plan of action. I calledContinue Reading
My glasses broke
Tonight I went to put my glasses on and they fell right apart in my hands. The search will be on in the morning for a place to either get them fixed or get new ones. I cannot see anything without them and walking is almost impossible. Fingers crossed andContinue Reading
Challenge updates full…
Oh boy some of this has been a lot harder so I am thinking I should edit some of the challenges to allow me more success and room for moving up. So, I will be updating this challenge within the next day to start over more reasonable goal to startContinue Reading
Challenge #2 – No sex of any kind record
This challenge is by far going to be the most difficult. It already is showing difficult in my discussions. My friends are always cracking sex jokes and I banter along with them all. I found myself getting into a few of these discussions. Other than that I am doing wellContinue Reading
Challenge #5 – 30,000 steps a week record
Today, 6/12/18, has been a pretty productive walking and physically active day! I met my daughter at the park for picnic day with her school. We did a lot of walking, playing catch, blowing bubbles, and being active! I am around 1800 steps today between everything and some of thoseContinue Reading
Challenge #4 – Out with the negative people records
Well so far so good on this challenge… I have had Joe blocked since yesterday midday. I haven’t checked the blocked folder on my phone to read the messages. I haven’t unblocked him because I was lonely and wanted someone to talk to. I have also blocked Anthony and BrianContinue Reading
Challenge #5 – 30,000 steps a week
30,000 steps in a week. Monitored by my watch and possibly more steps after this amount is accomplished. This will keep me physically active and feeling better inside myself. My calculations show me that to accomplish this for a week I would need to walk about 2,100 steps a day. Continue Reading
Challenge #4 – Out with the negative people
End my relationships with a few key people that I think are negatively impacting my feelings about myself and others. The people include: Joe Anthony (my best friend) Brian (need to return drill first) There are many people in my life. I have people that have known me since IContinue Reading
Challenge #3 – 1,000 words for the week records
6/11 The morning is starting out very difficult. I have already said 13 words between the kids good mornings and Andrew asked me questions. It was very hard not giving full sentence detailed responses. THIS MIGHT BE A LOT HARDER THAN I EXPECTED! Day 1 and I have already spokenContinue Reading
Challenge #3 – 1,000 words for the week
1000 words – Giving myself ONLY 1000 words for the week. This would include any texts, any online facebook posts, any chatting on the phone, any talking in person… anything other than this blog that would be communicating with another person. It would require me to keep track of allContinue Reading