Truth in which we live
Someone said recently that you cannot expect anyone to read what you write if you are still hiding. That hit me so hard because I am always hiding who I really am, hiding some of the horrors that I have experienced, my name, my real truth. I am unsure ifContinue Reading
Welcome to the fun…
As a single mom of 5 kids I have spent most of my life being exactly that… Single and a Mom My youngest kids were born in 2013 a set of b/g twins and I am finally starting to learn and grow as a completely single mom of 5. UntilContinue Reading
Day 10 in TN…
Today was still a pretty emotional day and very draining. I found the birth certificates but have also spent the day fighting with the school district in Fairport NY. Tomorrow I will finally make progress I hope with the school district here! I am going to go get these recordsContinue Reading
Day 7 in TN…
Today felt like everything was going wrong. I am actually ready to cry myself to sleep tonight! I guess we should start with the email I received from Spectrum. (Note: When I called them to have services moved they told me it would be over a month before they couldContinue Reading
Day 3 in TN…
Well today was pretty fun and adventurous but also expensive! We went several towns over, drove around, and stopped at a few stores including BBB, Michaels, Target, Publix, and Walmart! We bought pans, crafts, a few household items, groceries, and a few other personal items! It was a $600 day!Continue Reading
Day 2 in TN…
Unpacking a lot still today! I am frustrated that Leon is doing all of the driving as if I am the puppy in the passenger seat. I am so hating being driven around by anyone! Someone driving me gives me nightmares about being trapped, being a hostage, and just causesContinue Reading
Day 1 in TN…
Cheers to the first full day in Spring Hill, TN! We arrived last night around 5 pm and the house is beautiful! I pre-hired unloading men using the Uhaul app yesterday because I saw how tired we were and worried we would need things buried in the truck. They showedContinue Reading
Bupropion HCL XL 150 MG
Was put on an emergency dose of Bupropion HCL XL 150 MG to try and help the sinkhole I have started to emotionally sink into. Some people are a bit worried about me and because I am very self-aware I am worried myself so I agreed to take this pillContinue Reading
Heartbreak
My life is no longer full of you.All that remains are empty spaces.Holes from a family, life, and love that existed but you threw away. My heartbreak is endless, excruciating, and breathtaking.Continue Reading
First night without you
This was my first night without you in years… I am in excruciating pain. Feeling so deeply wounded. So sick. I have been vomiting and having painful diarrhea for almost 24 hours. I miss you! I miss our 5 billion moments together every day and night! Continue Reading
Suffocating emotional pain
As I have watched Leon pack all week long I am looking around my empty bedroom and so deeply hurting! I already miss him more than I ever thought possible and he is still here until tomorrow! Please tell me things will work out and we will build a beautifulContinue Reading
Is the world crumbling around me
In the past week, everything has gotten HUGE! Leon is leaving this week and moving to Tennessee. My friend is moving. My other friend is away for a while supporting her son who is having a heart transplant. Leon’s family is really alienating me. My transmission is about to die…Continue Reading
Spring Hill Tennessee is coming
The company Leon works for, GM offers transfers every so often to other plants. After years of discussing the possibility of taking it and living someplace else, he hit the button and said yes.Continue Reading
Are you alone in a crowded room?
The black pit of despair that is filled with an empty feeling caused such physical distress that my bodyContinue Reading
My son moved out
My son, 24 this past January, moved out last night. Just for the details: My son is Autistic, abusive towards me, irresponsible, and 24. Several years ago he moved out with my love and support. I even continued to pay his phone bill and go to his apartment and wakeContinue Reading
Just purchased the new Samsung Galaxy 23 Ultra
excited to receive this new phone and ran the setup/transfer as fast as I could. I found that the setup and transfer was easier and faster than ever before. It was super. The screen on this phone is superb. The processing speed in comparison to the Samsung Galaxy Note 20 Ultra 5G is negligible, to me! This phone is lacking any storage upgrade possibility. Phones before allowed sd cards to give more storage space this phone will allow you to purchase in these storage sizes: 256 gigs, 512 gigs, or 1 TBContinue Reading
Child Protective Services (CPS)
Next thing I know there were multiple CPS workers at my home as I pulled into the driveway with my daughter. At first, I didn’t think anything of it because I had nothing to hide.Continue Reading
A little bit about me part 1…
who I am, where I am, and why I might be doing this. Talking about my life, writing about my life, and sharing it with the publicContinue Reading
A little dysfunction here, a little dysfunction there
My family vs His family I come from an extremely dysfunctional family, and you can’t ever tell how dysfunctional until you are outside of it, looking in. In my family. My mother was a sexually deviant drug addict, and we are talking. Everything: cocaine, speed, pot… You know everything. MyContinue Reading
Claustrophobia…
is the irrational fear of confined spaces. Claustrophobia is often caused by a traumatic event experienced during early childhood. For example, adults may develop claustrophobia if, as a child, they: were trapped or kept in a confined space. were bullied or abused.Claustrophobia Claustrophobia is one of the most common phobias.Continue Reading
The blow-up…
I am hurting emotionally. I just want to cry and go to bed but with all my kids relying on me for parenting, I am pushing myself to have a fun night with the kids.Continue Reading