Someone said recently that you cannot expect anyone to read what you write if you are still hiding. That hit me so hard because I am always hiding who I really am, hiding some of the horrors that I have experienced, my name, my real truth. I am unsure ifContinue Reading

Leon’s parents were married in the ’70s and had 3 children. Leon is the older of three boys. His two brothers are 10 and 11 years younger than him. His Dad, we call him Big JW, is a GM lifer who is a full-on patriarch. He uses his money toContinue Reading

Every year for the past few years we have all gone to Seabreeze amusement park as a big family adventure. Leon’s dad treats and it is a blast. This year was really interesting because his dad isn’t speaking to me. It was really uncomfortable to try and speak to someoneContinue Reading

I have always prided myself on respecting other people’s privacy but I recently had a moment of violating the privacy of another. What happens when you violate a person’s privacy? You run the risk of finding out information that can emotionally hurt you! And here we are… I violate privacyContinue Reading

I know people who actually emotionally hurt me just by how they obsess over things on Facebook. I know that is a strange thing to say but how they react to things on Facebook causes me distress! For example, I know this guy who is in his late 40s, heContinue Reading

All of my friends tell me I am not lonely. My therapist tells me I am angry, and it makes the loneliness feel bigger. My Ma always said I am not lonely because I have all my kids. I have always had moments of feeling alone. I have experienced relationshipsContinue Reading

After my recent diagnosis of bipolar, I have now been put on medication to help stabilize my moods.  Meds are Oxycarbazepine for mood swings and hydroxyzine for anxiety. I hate the idea of taking any medications let alone mood-related chemicals. If I am being honest I am scared to loseContinue Reading

I have always thought my priorities were in check until the past few months when I began wondering if maybe I have had them all wrong. I saw my life as a set of priorities that started with Family! Priorities: Family (including the LTG if he exists) – I believeContinue Reading

Leo sees a therapist which I support and cheer for but I wish he would also discuss things with me after therapy. WHY you ask? Not because I feel it is my business or anything but because when he leaves therapy he acts very strange towards me. Example is yesterday…Continue Reading

It is so funny because when I was younger I never dated and then when I was in a relationship it was never about the long-term guy for my life. I dated more for fun if I dated and I NEVER thought about longevity of a relationship. Funny thing thatContinue Reading

Have you ever had things you didn’t want to say out loud about your feelings? Feelings that are so deeply ingrained in your soul that no matter how much therapy, how much discussion, how much you try to get it out it is still sitting there lingering all over yourContinue Reading

Emotions are a strange thing when you are in your 40’s. If you are chemically balanced, which I am not, it is still difficult for more females because some many things are starting to change in your body as well as in your mind. For starters your life is halfContinue Reading

My son, 20 year old, came into my room tonight overly excited that his apartment was approved and he would be moving next week! I am going to explain the two pieces of myself that were in this situation. Part 1: Mom part This part of my was thrilled andContinue Reading