Another ex shows back up in my life and this one is emotional trouble for me

After my first marriage broke up because he failed at killing us I ended up dating a great guy named Dan O. He was a few years older than me, still a virgin, very religious, and a great friend for a long time before we dated.

I remember the first time we met, he was so handsome and had guns that wouldn’t quit. I was in lust with him when we started dating. There came a time when we started having sex. Thinking back I am unsure I was ready to have an actual relationship that would be any length of time. After months of being together things had gotten really crazy with my ex and I didn’t feel right bringing Dan into it so I broke up with him. I didn’t just end our relationship I emotionally crushed him on purpose because I was struggling ending things.

A few weeks ago we randomly said hi and it turned into sex. Then find out he is living with a girl and yadda yadda. When he kissed me I realized how much I need to be held and kissed. I think it has been way too long since a guy took me in his arms and kissed me. Dan looked into my eyes and smiled at me in a way I don’t remember anyone ever doing. It was so strange yet it sucked me in and made me long for that in my life.

I haven’t spoken to him since because it was a mistake but a mistake with a lesson about what I need.

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