As many already know I am all about growth and self analysis although I do also attend regular therapy.  In relationships I am typically the inexperienced person because I have NOT had really any healthy relationships.  All of my past is riddled with a ton of every type of abuse.Continue Reading

I love your body. I love how you feel inside me. I love your lips! I love how our bodies make love, screw, fuck, have mind blowing sex… It is always so exciting, wonderful, explosive, emotional, and relieving!

The day was emotional, long, full of heart filled conversation. Today was the closest I have ever felt to a happy and healthy family of my own and now I cannot sleep. It was a wonderful night and you are always amazing with my kids. Dinner at the table asContinue Reading

To start I bleached my kitchen completely. Then I bleached the dining room. Then I cleaned the floors by hand with bleach. Then got cleaned up and got in bed ALONE! Am I really so unwanted or unlovable? I refuse to drown my sad lonely feelings in random meaningless sexContinue Reading

I have been a wife and mother most of my life. I have never had a time when I wasn’t raising kids or taking care of a full household like a wife. This is the first time I am really NOT a wife and it feels virtually impossible to turnContinue Reading

Self-Destruct Button

Several years ago when I was feeling really bad about myself I met a guy who was really easy to have sex with and nothing else. No relationship, no chatting, nothing more than crazy rough semi-abusive sex and poof he would be gone. I wouldn’t need to do any ofContinue Reading

Why am I not single? I just don’t understand why not just be single because I spend 65% of my time alone and almost every night of the week in bed alone so why am I dating Leo? I get so lonely at night and it is really hard toContinue Reading

I am a very verbal person and I don’t pull any punches about that fact. I need that verbal connection and I need it regularly. I honestly tell everyone that the more I feel unable to communicate with a person the more out of the relationship I will be. LeoContinue Reading

Woke up with Leo in bed next to me… and wanting to have sex. I am always up for some sex but this morning really felt like a: he needed to finish and not go to work loaded… Whatever, we had sex a little bit and then he finished alone…Continue Reading

Third Eye Blind, Jimmy Eat World, and Ra Ra Riot were the artists playing! I was mostly excited to see Jimmy Eat World because the song I dedicate to my Ma is by them. Jimmy Eat World – Hear You Me Well Leo was late arriving at my house butContinue Reading

It has been a straining several days and I wasn’t looking forward to the awkward drive from my house to the lake 50 minutes away with Leo and the kids. Leo has been avoiding relationship discussions for weeks now and as we are at the 6 month period I feltContinue Reading

I am already prepared for the moment you leave me…Already hardening my heart and foresee you leaving me in the future to go back to her. In that vision I have you leave me and return to her only to realize my love is, was, and would always leave youContinue Reading