As a single mom of 5 kids I have spent most of my life being exactly that… Single and a Mom My youngest kids were born in 2013 a set of b/g twins and I am finally starting to learn and grow as a completely single mom of 5. UntilContinue Reading

Many people do not know but 18 years ago I gave a child up for adoption.  I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of a separation from my physically abusive ex-husband.  On Easter that year I found out I was pregnant.  Terrified, alone with 2 toddlers, and worriedContinue Reading

After everything here gets crazy I have been gone getting life settled for a little while. Here is a tiny run down of what has been going on here: Finishing the move My son got his tonsils and adenoids removed I got my wisdom teeth pulled and experienced an infectionContinue Reading

When I say I am lonely… All of my friends tell me I am not lonely.  My therapist tells me I am angry and it makes the loneliness feel bigger.  My Ma always said I am not lonely because I have all my kids. I have always had moments ofContinue Reading

All of the moving is finally over! I am completely in the new place and feeling overwhelmed to the extreme.  New neighbors…  this means I have to enforce the rules of the house 110% of the time.  There is NO room for negotiation.  I have to keep the inside voicesContinue Reading

I had a moment, well actually several moments, this week where I reflected on this past month of October. I saw some mood swing behavior scattered all over my month. I started to analyze some specific situations and was scared that my emotions and behaviors were NOT “real” but bipolar.Continue Reading

Tonight I planned to go out with a bunch of the old crew from High School and meetup for a while for drinks and laughs.  We met at a place called Jeremiahs in Penfield, NY and it was great.  The night started out a bit shaky for a few reason…Continue Reading

I have spent 40 some odd years insisting I am moral and honest but in actuality I have been keeping so many secrets all my life… Let the purge begin… My 1st cousin tried to stick something in me sexually when we were 12. When I was 10 thru 12Continue Reading

Is my current paranoia real or not? I have always lived with a certain amount of paranoia from my childhood trauma.  I usually am pretty good about knowing that my paranoia is not real but lately I am just certain that my paranoia is spot on! Here it is inContinue Reading

I am officially moving this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!  Holy Hell!  I need more help.  I am so not prepared for what is about to happen in my life!  $550 more a month for rent plus I will have to pay for electric.  Then not only that but IContinue Reading

I don’t do well in the mid-road of sex.  I need either sex almost every day OR no sex at all!  I cannot do the sex once a week.  My brain ends up getting backed up and goes crazy.  I cannot do partially in. The moment of impact happens theContinue Reading

Today Leo started back at work after over a month of being on strike for UAW/GM and me being the sap that I am I sent him an I miss you text this morning.  I admit it was odd him not being around at all during the day and knowingContinue Reading

After my recent diagnosis with bipolar I have now been put on medication to help stabilize my moods.  Meds are:  Oxycarbazepine for the mood swings and hydroxyzine for anxiety. I hate the idea of taking any medications let alone mood related chemicals. If I am being honest I am scaredContinue Reading