I have always prided myself on respecting other peoples privacy but I recently had a moment of violating the privacy of another.
What happens when you violate a persons privacy? You run the risk of finding out information that can emotionally hurt you! And here we are… I violate privacy and I hurt from what I find! I hurt because of what I saw and I hurt because I broke my moral code.
For a long time now I have had the feeling that Leo (my bf) is still in-love with his ex (Chrissy) but I have tried to understand his actions and words. I have tried to see that it could just be personal insecurities. I have talked myself out of that gut feeling I have been having since the summer of last year. Then it hit me like a brick! I snooped in his old phone and got a wake-up call that broke my heart and virtually ended my relationship with Leo!
Last year I spent all year listening to him say how much he loves me and wanted to build a life with me. He spoke of how much he didn’t want to lose me and I was the best thing that happened to him! I didn’t believe it… actions didn’t add up to the words he was using. I have grown enough to know my own value as well as to stand up for myself when I am not being treated the right way. I held on for my own reasons that involved girlish stupidity… Ugh!
What did my snooping uncover? Here goes:
He was constantly texting her last year saying things like:
- I haven’t given up on us! I will never give up on us!
- I love you!
- You need me to come give you a back rub (she replied: uhh, don’t you have a gf? He replied: Yeah but it’s just a back rub.)
- You are beautiful
- I miss you
- Brought her dinners
- Brought her snacks
- Took care of her other son for her (his haircuts, dinners, events, play stuff, gifts, parenting, and so much more!)
- She said want to do private pictures game? He said yes? What the fuck that is I don’t know!!! It sounds like naked photos but I could be stupid!
- He did all the Christmas gifts for her house!
- He met her for drinks in the back of the restaurant
- Met her at a cafe for alone time
The list kept going on and on… All of this while I was having a relationship with him! Of course my hair was in flames from furious rage! I was consumed by emotions! He has no boundaries and is cheating on me with his ex! I consider all of this CHEATING!!! To me this is CHEATING!!!
*** If you disagree please comment ***
I confronted him and he yelled at me! Not for snooping at first but for not trusting him! Why should I trust you?!? He took her dinner from the restaurant I introduced him to on our 2nd date! He completely violated our relationship in my eyes!
Then he was angry and accused me of watching him constantly! Seriously?!? If you have nothing to hide it wouldn’t matter if I was watching you constantly BUT I AM NOT WATCHING ANYONE for the record!
He wants couples counseling but I am unsure if I agree…
What is there to work out? We aren’t a couple! We are him and his ex and me! There is NO couple in that equation!