I am so exhausted with the games… Friday night was great… we did dinner, played with the kids, and had a great “family” night. Saturday morning was even better… After sex for hours we both fell asleep to wake up wrapped around one another! We both tag teamed to get everyone ready. You painted my daughter’s fingernails. We ran out and grabbed something to eat on the way to the local Fourth of July parade. Once we got there it was great having everyone spend time with Grandma Gail and then walking to the parade route and setting up our chairs for a fun parade. It was interesting having my father finally meet the guy who has been in our lives all year. I felt like the morning was one of the best “family” mornings I can remember having. After the parade we dropped off the kids at home with my oldest son and we took my 7 year old to shop for an afternoon birthday party. It was hysterical to shop at Target, us an my daughter. After we left Target we ran a few errands and then went to a Chinese food restaurant for lunch just the 3 of us! It was fantastic. Then staying with the kids while I took my 7 year old to the birthday party at her friends house. I came home to my two youngest kids playing kindle games in my bed with you helping them. I invited you to the downstairs bathroom for a moment of debauchery and excitement. After that you helped my adult son build something outside and I hung out with the kids. A little bit more time passed and then we went out separate ways so you could help your mom with laundry and household chores. It was all so great… I felt as if you really wanted this life with us. It got even better still… Today when I woke up with a severe migraine, for the first time ever, I let someone help me with my kids! They had a blast going to the parks and lunch with a guy who has started to seem like he would be the guy in our lives. We all ate dinner together… Then it was time for you to leave for some work and you would call me…

Then you never call… You never anything! No good night, no you love me, no sorry you forgot to call, NOT A FUCKING THING! We don’t exist… I will not keep loving someone who keeps pulling us in like a family and then disappearing and reminding me that we are clearly nothing in your circle!

It will hurt moving forward without you but I think you continue to leave me no choice. It hurts so badly to have a weekend like this and have you disappear. It perpetuates all of my worst fears about letting anyone close to me/us!

Just end things instead of playing push and pull with my family, heart, me!

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