After therapy on Thursday I decided to write an email to Leo.
Copy of the email:
Good evening Mr. White,
I had a really great day with 2 of my favorite guys! Thank you so much.
I can’t help but wonder and notice that you didn’t want me to help with the transportation for Elyjah while you have him in October.
I am also curious about if part of our struggles have to do with you and Chrissy.
This morning you lied to her about why you didn’t answer the phone. I don’t understand what the difference is between telling her you were washing dishes and didn’t hear the phone and telling her you were working Uber and couldn’t answer the phone.
I haven’t ever seen her and although I don’t compare us to her and him I am curious why it is different for him to be a completely involved part of Elyjah’ s life but I am kept at an arm’s length distance unless you choose to include me in some random thing he is doing that they will not be a part of and even still that is odd.
Is the different between them and us that she has been clearly over you for quadruple the time and you are still struggling with her being with someone else?
Will there be a time you think I will be allowed to be included in Elyjah’s things?
I see it like this:
I think that you purposely don’t want me involved because if I am involved then she would see you are completely out of the relationship with her and maybe you aren’t ready to shut the door with her?
When I heard you talking to her, this is the 1st time you have had a conversation with her in front of me, I felt a pit in my stomach… I honest to goodness felt like I didn’t belong in your life. I felt like I was the girl you were cheating with! I didn’t like feeling that way. You were explaining why you didn’t answer the phone immediately… you were apologizing like crazy… you were explaining your life…
I feel sick thinking I am the person you are cheating on Chrissy with. I don’t know how to make that feeling different, but I really feel like the odd man out and the closer we get the worse it feels. You are part of our everything. You compartmentalize us…
I hate feeling like with how far we have come in some areas we aren’t even a couple.
The response to this was of course a distraction to me. Yesterday he got the kids off the school bus for me and sat down to address what I said. He COMPLETELY skipped over most of my email questions. He did however explain that he basically tries to appease her because he doesn’t want the fight.
I get that piece but at no point did he mention anything else in my email.