Have you ever watched a rom-com and thought about how you wished your relationship/life mirrored that movie in any way? I mean any pieces of that movie at all? I never really had those moments of wishing my life was more like a movie romance but I have always had moments in music that I wish my life was more like. I guess my statement is more about the emotions and not about actions. I want to be loved the way that people sing about love… I want someone to love me and be mine until we are old and hold my hand during the worst moments but also smile at me with love every day.
Silly thoughts I know… I have been in long-term relationships, marriages, and short-term relationships… I have had those moments where I wake up in the morning and feel sick and hateful towards the person next to me. I, however, do love the way you here in music. My love coats everything around me. My love prioritizes the person I love. My love consistently remembers that when the I feel like I cannot stand the person I am with because of anger or frustration that I still love them and why I still love them.
Several years ago I told a friend of mine who was struggling in his marriage a few things I thought were a priority in making a marriage work and thrive. It requires both people in the marriage doing a few things on a regular basis that are important but don’t require tons of work.
Keeping a marriage together list of to dos:
- Make a list of what you thought about this person the day you married them
- Make a list of what you thought at the moment of proposal
- Make a list of your spouses best qualities
- Make a list of why you thought this was the person you would/could spend the rest of your life with
What do you do with these lists? How do these lists help you with your life? If we are already struggling why would these lists be beneficial at all?
Studies day that between 41 and 50% of all first marriages will end in separation or divorce. While I agree those studies are correct I also believe that if you do a few key things when your relationships is struggling divorce will never be a discussion on the table.
(the above equates to ONLY relationships that do not include abusers… I think a person should ALWAYS leave an abuser!)
Had a difficult night and went to bed angry with your spouse? Roll over in the morning and you are still angry at your spouse from the night before? Or waking up just fed up with your spouse?
Take out your combined lists… read them! Read every line of them! Free your heart of the emotional struggles that are going on as it relates to your marriage. Once you are done with the reading pick a flower and give it to your spouse! I can almost guarantee that flower will change the mood of the relationship! You never have to go big on a thoughtful gift but a thoughtful loving gift can change EVERYTHING!
With all of that said I am a person who loves like a love song. I am all in and all heart! I need and expect the same in return. I am great at verbalizing that need. I need someone who shows they want to talk to me. I need someone who shows they want to be near me! I need someone who expresses these things verbally and also in actions! I have to have hear it but I have to feel and see it as well! I show, say, express, do… all of the love towards anyone I am in a relationship with so how can I be okay with less than that from someone in my life.
I am a love song romantic and need a love song relationship NOT a movie fairy tale but a love song that will play forever!