I have been having some scary moments lately. Along with what has become the norm for my migraines I have started to experience explosive episodes during orgasm. They are terrifying, excruciating, and embarrassing. With all of that I decided to go into the doctors office today and get checked out. They are sending me immediately to have a CT scan.
On my way home I started to have remembrances of my childhood… What was my childhood dream for my immediate future? I prayed, as part of my nightly prayers to god, that I would get a brain tumor. People who are close to me know this was what I prayed for growing up. Those who do not know me please allow me to explain:
I experienced a lot of abuse as a child and prayed for a tumor because I thought it was my only way out of the abuse. I just couldn’t get away from the pain and wanted so desperately to have pain relief!
Now as an adult when the doctor said she is concerned I have a clot in my head or something that is going to cause a stroke I am petrified that I prayed for this as a child and now my prayers are coming to fruition.
I am not ready to leave my family so all of this scares me.
Prayers to no blood clots, no tumors, no strokes!