An odd but valid point

Several weeks ago in therapy I was discussing how it is difficult for me, at times, to listen to all of my friends discussing the relationship progress they are making.  Most of them are under a year into a relationship and having “the talk” with the person they are with.

What is “the talk”?  It is that discussion a couple is having about future possibilities.  Maybe we will live together.  Maybe we will vacation together.  Maybe we will this, that, the other…  together!

It isn’t a feeling of envy or a negative feeling towards my friends at all…  it is a feeling of not understanding why that discussion has been completely avoided in my relationship!  It isn’t even up for discussion at all…  Am I ready to live with someone?  I am not completely sure if I am but WHY THE HELL can we have the discussion about the future possibilities?  It hurts me…

Then a few months ago when he was offered a job in Texas he asked me to live with him there.

SOOOOOO, let me get this straight…  I am good enough to live with in Texas but not good enough to even have the discussion here in NYS?  It has caused a lot of frustration so I started the discussion with my therapist.  I need to air out my emotional stuff completely when I am in therapy so this was the discussion that day.

Then my therapist looked at me and said:  Maybe there is a person who makes him not want to live with you here but in a different state that person is no longer an issue!


does that mean his ex?
does that mean someone he is seeing?
what does this mean exactly?

I am unclear but I don’t like how any of these thoughts makes me feel!

and breathe

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