Several weeks ago in therapy I was discussing how it is difficult for me, at times, to listen to all of my friends discussing the relationship progress they are making. Most of them are under a year into a relationship and having “the talk” with the person they are with.
What is “the talk”? It is that discussion a couple is having about future possibilities. Maybe we will live together. Maybe we will vacation together. Maybe we will this, that, the other… together!
It isn’t a feeling of envy or a negative feeling towards my friends at all… it is a feeling of not understanding why that discussion has been completely avoided in my relationship! It isn’t even up for discussion at all… Am I ready to live with someone? I am not completely sure if I am but WHY THE HELL can we have the discussion about the future possibilities? It hurts me…
Then a few months ago when he was offered a job in Texas he asked me to live with him there.
SOOOOOO, let me get this straight… I am good enough to live with in Texas but not good enough to even have the discussion here in NYS? It has caused a lot of frustration so I started the discussion with my therapist. I need to air out my emotional stuff completely when I am in therapy so this was the discussion that day.
Then my therapist looked at me and said: Maybe there is a person who makes him not want to live with you here but in a different state that person is no longer an issue!
does that mean his ex?
does that mean someone he is seeing?
what does this mean exactly?
I am unclear but I don’t like how any of these thoughts makes me feel!