Everyone who knows me says I am my own worst, hardest critic…

I see no beauty in myself. Some days I cannot see beyond the enormous scars that cover every area of my insides. I look at my smile and see every piece that is fake lingering behind the joy. I look at my body and see every break, every hateful word that has been thrust upon me from the people I have loved with everything in my heart. I look at my hands and see all the times I almost lost them from the torture I have survived.

I am not well lately and I don’t know how to make myself well anymore. I am trying to hold myself together but for some reason I haven’t been able to full myself out of the pit of depression I have sunk into. I am not sure anything will help me pull out of this! I wish that there was.

Lately I am just feeling so completely unwanted, unloved, undesirable, lost, lonely, missing, wanting!

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