Written around 2003
On Christmas Day 2 years ago I had our third child. She was born and never loved by her father or his family. I tried for so long to not get attached and wouldn’t even hold her. I sat down with her family to be and told them I just wanted them to be with her. I didn’t want her to be in the hospital with no family to love her. They are wonderful people and we named her together. She would forever be Christmas Joy. I didn’t even see her until the day she was leaving the hospital. My family finally agreed with a decision I had made and all of them spent a portion of that day with her. My father finally came to me with the attorney and told me I had to spend time with her for my own heart to be happy with what I was doing. As my heart was breaking they brought her to me and I fell more in love than I thought I would. I changed her outfit to what she would wear home and cried till there were no tears left.