Written around 1999-2001

Now, to start I would like to tell you all a little story that happened to me a long time ago! It all started one night while I was laying in bed with my husband after a long day of arguing.

It all started when we got married over 4 years ago! Everything I did from then on was wrong. No matter what I ever did he always was unhappy. We would argue and I would end up being the one who was wrong! That is the way it was, all of the time! After a while I started to become very sad and lonely. He then started working over 70hours a week and I started to sink into a pit of dispare. I loved him more than anything and yet he never seemed to want me, FOR ANYTHING! That all brings me up to the point when I was sitting in bed at 3:30 am still awake and writing this little thing down; and the next day I read it again and thought WOW this is great! This was an entry from my journal! So it begins:

Well, I guess that I am feeling very sick and tired! I am so lonely – Why not find someone who want me? I need someone to want, love and hold me! I need to be right once and a while!! I am tired of never being enough! I am hating my life and everything around me. How am I supposed to be a good wife if I am so STARVED for love and niceness from him??

The grass is always greener on the other SIDE until you get there and find that it is rotten underneath and the grass starts to turn brown and by then the grass where you came from is DEAD! and there is nothing left to go back to! What then???

Where do you go?

What do you have?

What is left?

ANYTHING?

OR

NOTHING?

Did you loose everything?

You didn’t want what you had and now you are left with dead grass every where!

What you had is now GONE – DEAD FOREVER!

AND:

Even if you do get the old grass to grow again –

Would it ever be the same again??

NO!

There would forever be brown rotten patches!! They would never live there again.

SO, What do you do?

YOU LOVE!! Never Look twice! When you have someone standing there with their heart on their sleeve – DON’T step on it or take it for granted! =)

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